One last trip to Dickens' London before the holiday comes to a close. ( FYI THIS EPISODE contains ambient audio) Slip into sleep as I stroll in search of a jilted bride. We won't be eating any cake, but there will be layers of pillowy boredom interwoven with frosted tangents.

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The conclusion of Roberta Claus. Claude Neon reporting for Sleep With Me Podcast.

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It is time for you to sleep as Roberta faces down Santa's Secret. Choices will be made but it will take a while as they will be drizzled in white chocolatey exposition. Plus a few speeches. All to save Christmas.

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Fly across the night sky in Santa's sleigh and then touch down on a cloudy field of snowy dreams. If you must enter a cave this night, might I suggest one made of candy? Roberta's tale will continue on her quest to the North Pole, but never fret for you most of what you'll miss will be Claude's long reports.

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Would you like a sleep-inducing cookie from a bottomless cookie tin? Have a bite of boredom and be distracted as I drop the story in the snow. Roberta and Claude will have some hot coco, as snowballs roll near a peaceful lakeside.

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A historical journey offered by a man who is not even an amateur historian. Is is rumor or innuendo or truth? You won't know as you should be asleep. You won't learn the history of bad blood between ornaments or lights or the great battle the unfolded late at night while you dreamt of figgy pudding.

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Sleep With Me is a bedtime story designed to take your mind off of the racing thoughts that keep you awake at night.

As you listen you will find yourself distracted from your worries and drifting off into dreamland..due to the fact the story gets a little bit more boring with each passing minute.

This podcast is a little weird, a bit silly and a tad offensive so beware. It is very similar to ASMR or guided meditation bedtime story that slowly carries you off to slumber.

"Sleep With Me" is a groundbreaking podcast created to help you fall asleep. So get in bed, press play and drift off into dreamland. If you struggle with insomnia or just getting a good night's rest, you've found the podcast for you.

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On Twitter @dearestscooter

Music by Christopher Postill @ Sounds Like An Earful Podcast "A Podcast about collecting stories, tinkering with noises and fumbling with really big questions"

Sleep With Me Artwork by His Grace Scott

Sleep With Me is narrated by Dearest Scooter and written by Drew Ackerman

Join Roberta and Claude as they journey via U-haul and Sleigh. Rest your head and don't worry as Spackle and his magic map will guide the way. Even a case of yogurt smashing Yule Lads should not upset your winter slumber.

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Become a sleepy snowflake and float among the lights. While you sleep we will drift from one animated "wonder" to another. Do not worry if you fall asleep, what you miss is missable, but as unforgettable as holiday tradition.

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Sleep well and don't worry as this story about Christmas change unfolds. All will be healed and resolved in good time. Correspondent Claude Neon reports on the whereabouts of the new "Santa", Roberta Claus. If talk about the passing on of Christmas icons and the bullying of public figures could trigger sleeplessness then you might want to skip this episode. I try to handle it as delicately as I can.

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